| Published on 20-03-2007 In General |
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Written by
Iraianbu IAS |
Love is the enlarged self and compassion is the absence of self. In love, the other person becomes important and in compassion, the object becomes the subject. In love, we have affairs but not in compassion. Compassion never hankers for continuity. Love arises out of a longing to weave a relationship and craves for permanence. Relationship is often a fountainhead of problems, conflicts and agony. Liking is the precursor of love. For love, hatred is the antonym but compassion does not even have synonyms. Cruelty is the opposite of kindness. Love can have repercussions. One can reject love but not compassion.
Compassion is a moment to moment phenomenon and at the same time not a momentary feeling. It neither leans over the past nor bends towards the future. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddist master, uses the term ‘mindfulness’ to refer to keeping one’s consciousness alive to the present reality without being sucked into the future. Compassion exists in totality without prefixes and suffixes. It has no adjectives, as on its own it is superlative. We can trace the invisible umbilical chords to love. It comes either due to bondage or to have bondage. It expects at least reciprocation in return. Every one loves; some are sincere and some are casual. Infatuation is also love in its premature form. It blinds the reason and blurs the senses. Mutual dependence and psychological clinging may be misinterpreted as platonic love. If one prefers to die for lack of reciprocation, one is purely neurotic and there is no divinity attached to it. It is just emotional blackmail.
In love, one becomes possessive and suffocates others. It may breed envy, accentuate anxiety, accelerate adrenaline, increase palpitation and precipitate perspiration. Many a time, men are in love with the projections as T.S Eliot observes in his ‘The Cocktail Party’. Projection entices projection and results in rejection and dejection.
Compassion is a sustained and practical determination to do whatever is possible to alleviate the suffering of others. It treats the other person on an equal plane. There is no distinction as to race, sex, creed or even life. A compassionate person would not pull even a chair with force. Ramalinga Vallalar felt sad for a clod which broke into dust though it is only from dust to dust. A wilting plant gives pain for the one who overflows with compassion. One would not harm others even in the wildest of his dreams. His hand stretches from his heart and his eyes are anchored in his soul.
Compassion is instantaneous. One cannot have rehearsals to convey compassion.
Tao says, “To have without possessing, to do without claiming credit, to lead without controlling are the mysterious virtues” and compassion facilitates them. It is obtained by finding a perfect balance of virtues. It signifies equitable distribution. Meng Tzu, a Taoist said, “Starvation occurs not through lack of food but because of improper distribution”.
Compassion does not impose and is a detached attachment. Compassionate persons are always grateful to the receiver. They know that everything comes back. It can come only out of total awareness and at that moment a person becomes extremely beautiful with a graceful face and glittering eyes. Dr. Samuel Johnson gave a silver coin to a mendicant whereas Oliver Goldsmith took him around his arms and shared his meal with him. Compassion is not proportionate to the quantum of financial assistance. It is the attitude that counts.
A few so-called philanthropists long for disasters to strike. Then they might exhibit their exuberance. Emerson remarked, “My life is for itself and not for a spectacle”. The best way to mourn the dead is to take care of their survivors. Sosan, a Zen mystic, said, “To return to the root is to find the meaning”. Compassion is the journey from self to self to drop the self. Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of compassion is often picturised in Tibetan iconography as having thousand eyes that see the pain in all corners of the universe and a thousand arms to reach out to extend his help.
The easiest way to reach God is to have abundant compassion towards all beings. One day while doing walking meditation during winter in his garden, St. Francis of Assissi witnessed a bare almond tree. He went closer and closed his eyes in a meditative fashion. He prayed to the tree to tell him about God. Suddenly, the almond tree was covered with blossoms. A person flowers with compassion and spreads his fragrance, transmitting divinity to translate Godliness.
Compassion is a passion; a quality. It is neither charity nor a benefaction. It is the basic human quality with which we are born. Aging denudes it due to selfishness and gluttony. With the presence of a compassionate soul, one can imbibe the spirit and become mature in disposition. Temporal and spatial limitations are not applicable to compassion. One could be compassionate to innumerable beings and there is absolutely no competition for compassion.
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