| Published on 14-03-2007 In General |
| Viewed 1039 times |
| The Politics of Love and Social Change |
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Written by
Anita Ratnam |
A very small news report in Bangalore's Deccan Herald of February 27 about two students being expelled from the MV college in Bhadravathi for being in love and therefore being a "bad example" might not have sent shockwaves through our educated citizens.
After all, a college principal acted at the behest of two sets of infuriated parents, who even had a "catfight" with each other. They managed to convince the principal- only too easily, that what was essentially inconvenient to them as parents, was also an issue of "discipline" for the college. This is a matter of grave concern. Also, the fact that the enraged parents preferred to have their adult children thrown out of college, rather than address their need to be in a relationship, or calmly talk about the responsibilities and risks that come with such expressions of youthful autonomy, is a sad testament to family bonds.
In a society where even healthy dissent by children is branded as disobedience, young people's explorations of their identities, personalities and aspirations are not easily understood. Autonomy in the realm of romantic love and the faintest hint of sexual exploration by young women, evokes much indignation, confusion and fear from parents, teachers, wardens etc.
Immediately, "culture" and family honour are invoked. Using various permutations and combinations of persuasion, threat and obfuscation in the name of tradition, "freedom" is banished to ensure conformity with existing inter-personal and societal power structures. House-arrest, mental torture, social boycott, expulsion from colleges and hostels, violence and in extreme cases even murder of young people by parents, relatives and caste-panchayats are realities even today- not just in the feudal hinterlands but in our post modern metros as well.
So we could peacefully let the matter lie there as it is obvious that our society has found its own means to deal with such issues. Or do we open the pandoras box and suggest that there could be other ways of understanding both the "Crime" and the "Punishment"?
Let us look at the "crimes" that young people are committing first – exploring romantic relationships, new work/study options, new cultures in terms of food, clothes, entertainment, critiquing tradition. From Hollywood to Bollywood to Kollywood, romantic love beyond social barriers is celebrated in celluloid and the Internet opens up new vistas in terms of employment and social networks for young people.
In such a setting, not attempting to push ones own frontiers, would be a sign of senility, not youthhood. Surely, young people learning to take decisions and face consequences for their actions, is desirable. And if they make blunders along the way, is it not biding on parents and teachers to provide guidance without destroying them in the process?
As young people struggle to negotiate their multiple pressures, they are not just wantonly questioning the authority of the individual parent or teacher.
Sometimes they also grappling with our undemocratic social structures and are questioning what they find suffocating in terms of deprivations as well as privileges.
A young Brahmin boy declares that even though he is in love with a Muslim girl, he will make no move to marry her as it will involve too much trauma and pressure for her. Young girls are daring to go into careers hitherto considered "male" domains knowing full well it will involve almost super-human amounts of juggling time and emotional energy.
So how does one deal with such "Crimes against society"? Organisations working with youth remind us that the precious value of inter-generational conflict has not been adequately understood. It is established that "status anxiety" of families is but another form of reinforcing hierarchies across and within each stratum of our society.
While such conflicts might erupt in the privacy of thousands of homes (and of course the private crying sessions in the bathroom), these are reflections of a society in turbulent transition, confronting its demons, its undemocratic ways and its discomfort with departures from the familiar. Without this we would be doomed to stagnation.
And what about punishments? All around us we see young dalit boys and girls admonished by parents for playing games that involve physical contact with upper caste classmates. An upper class Muslim girl is not allowed to study a course of her choice as it is available only in a co-ed college. A doctor's son is not allowed to pursue interests in sculpture or the arts. The warden of a SC girls hostel treats the boarders like inmates of a prison out of fear that they will become too ambitious or promiscuous and pollute the larger community.
These all too common scenarios emphasise that those who are imposing the restrictions, are doing so out of fear. A fear that unless traditions are followed, anarchy will emerge or that Kalyug will descend. Romantic relationships of young people across "community" provoke the worst punishments, as they pose a fundamental threat to our social fabric. Using (misusing?) the authority vested in them, responsible adults immediately quell their own fears by quick and sharp reprisals.
In Bhadravathy, the Transfer Certificates were issued immediately--to nip the problem in the bud. No risk, no problem, no qualms. It is indeed unfortunate that despite repeated assertions that they would study hard and not create problems for anyone, two young people had to pay a heavy price for their stand, because neither the parents nor the principal were ready to take a risk.
Could there be other ways of handling such anxiety? Is there scope for contemplation that instead of anarchy, we could even arrive at a more humane and democratic society? Maybe such questioning will liberate the erstwhile "criminals" as well as the "punishment-givers" and help us appreciate each other's struggles with more compassion.
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